Some of the Things I Miss

I miss so many things. Some big, some small, all tough to live without, but usually happy to remember. I miss:



Ribeye steaks rubbed with olive oil, garlic, and sea salt and cooked just how I like them (because as he always said, it's all about Lisa)

Flowers sent for no reason other than to make me happy

Spooning while I fall asleep

Having someone who makes me feel pretty, smart, funny, amazing, capable, happy, LOVED

Talking about the kids with the other person who loved them most

Being reminded to turn off lights, close the bedroom door to keep the dogs out during the day, turn the air conditioning off in the main part of the house at night, change the oil, fill up the gas tank

How he wanted me to wake him up every day when I left for work, and how he always managed to wake up enough to say "drive carefully, take a banana, i love you." And if I had forgotten my cell phone recently, he would add "don't forget your cell phone" for a few days afterwards.

Being "lifeguarded" while in the shower (he assured me that this was very necessary - showering is dangerous business, and if I was not closely monitored, I was at significant risk of drowning). He was very dedicated to my safety, and stood right outside the shower and watched to ensure I was all right. Sometimes he worked so hard at it that he leaned too hard on the shower rod and it would crash down on him. Seems lifeguarding is hazardous in its own right.

The kiss chair. This is a chair in our eating area, which is the first room I walk into every night when I come home. When he heard me pull in the driveway, he would go sit in the kiss chair, and I was obligated to kiss him right away when I came in the house. If he didn't hear the car pull up because he was in another part of the house, I would open the door from the garage to the house, and he would hear me from the other end of the house and come running (and I do mean RUNNING) to sit in the chair. I think some breakable objects fell victim to his enthusiasm a time or two.

How he talked to EVERYONE in the grocery store, the home improvement store, the gas station, etc., but would barely make conversation at a party at anyone's house but ours.

Homemade macaroni and cheese with hotdogs whenever I had a bad day.

Someone to get rid of the bugs and put things away in high places.

Riding in the car together.

Arguing over who really snores.

Laughing at the dogs, at ridiculous people (like the lady I saw the other day in public with bedroom slippers on that looked like HUGE fluffy lion heads), at the bjod, at Seinfeld, at funny thoughts

Having someone who knows that if I'm ever in a coma, I want vaseline on my lips, my hair pulled back off my face and neck, and that if I'm on my side, my face needs to be at the edge of the pillow

Seeing him make the bed every day - which he did the instant he got up, before even going to the bathroom, and always naked. How could it be that urgent?

Long lazy days on the boat - our favorite time together

Having someone to wake me up from naps so I don't sleep all day

Sensing that someone is looking at me while reading, watching TV, dozing, and looking up to see him smiling at me like I'm the best most wonderful thing he ever saw

Hearing him answer the phone - HEEEELLO!

Complaints about putting like a pig and catching no fish

Being told "don't eat this" as he solemnly gives me a packet of desiccant from a bag of beef jerky

Having him hand me the big annual Cabela's catalog and tell me to pick out my Christmas gift

Coming home just before hunting season to find him sitting on the floor in the living room all decked out in camo, and having him act surprised that I could still see him.

Being referred to as "my bride" (hence the name of this blog)

How he loved to watch me brush my teeth, curl my hair, put makeup on, get dressed.

The round of applause - literally - when I got undressed (sorry kids...)

His love of "faggy tassel loafers"

Having a partner, a best friend, an advisor, someone who knows me like no on else ever has

Suffering through Star Trek, which he loved for some crazy reason

Listening to him ponder the meaning of the Michael J. Fox "drink the sand" outburst in "The American President."

Checking his shirts for spots before leaving the house. Oh, and debating whether it was okay to wear shorts with a giant hole in the crotch, as long as the hole in the crotch of your underwear didn't line up with it. Seeing the shirts that he carefully hung up to drip dry so they wouldn't shrink in the dryer, even though they already had big tears in them and were so ratty I wouldn't even have taken them to Goodwill.

How whenever I got a pimple he would walk toward me and then when he was about a foot away he would stagger backward as if it protruded so far from my face he had bumped into it. Then he would offer to scoop it out with a melonballer.

His big happy smile

Amazing how the things that I miss the most are also the things I most love to think about and try to remind myself of when I am saddest. I am so unlucky and yet still so lucky.