In the Beginning...

I have been thinking a lot about how we began. It’s not an exciting or overly romantic story, but it’s our story, so it makes me happy to think about it.

It was just after Fourth of July weekend, 1979. I was 17, and had just graduated from high school, and would be going off to University of Vermont in the fall. I had a boyfriend that I really liked. He was a swimmer, and over the holiday weekend, he had competed in a state meet that took place at the Air Force base in Rome, NY. I had driven down with him to watch, and had spent the whole weekend in the sun.

It was hot the day I got back, and I had to go to work for a 6p to 4a shift. I was working as a waitress (now called “servers”…so PC!) at Howard Johnson’s. I didn’t have a license yet, so I usually rode my bike to work – about a four mile ride. As I think back now, I don’t know why I wore a bathing suit for the ride, but I did – nothing revealing – just a navy blue Speedo. I pulled jeans on too so I wouldn’t get grease on my shin if bumped the bike chain (strange outfit I know – go figure…).

I rode to work and went inside and down the basement stairs to change into my uniform in the locker room. As I came down the stairs and turned the corner, I was looking straight ahead at some shelves that stuck out into the center of the room. I heard someone on the other side of the shelves, and then he stood up – and there he was. Looking at me from the other side of the shelves – bright blue eyes that stood out even in the dim basement, and shaggy blonde hair (it was after all, still the 70s). We had never met, but he looked awfully happy to see me (now that I think about it, that’s how he would look for a long time to come – awfully happy to see me). I’m pretty sure it was the bathing suit. In fact, I know it was – he remembers looking for something on the bottom shelf, then standing up and seeing the bathing suit and the tan. That was enough for him.

I thought he looked pretty darn interesting myself. I knew everyone that worked there – who was this? I remembered that all the women that worked there were talking about the cute new manager. For a second I thought this must be him. Then he came out from behind the shelves, and I saw he was holding the letters for the sign out front. Damn – that was a dishwasher’s job, and there was no way I was hooking up with a dishwasher. He introduced himself – Kirk somebody with a funny last name. I said hello and went to change. Too bad he’s a dishwasher, I thought – he’s cute. What a little snot I was.

I went upstairs, and sure enough, he washed dishes all night. He was friendly, I was cool. He offered me a ride home, but I said no thanks – my boyfriend was coming to pick me up.

The next day, I rode in again, and there he was – in a tie. Well now – this was a different story. Turns out he was washing dishes because all managers had to do all the jobs at some point. Throughout the night, we laughed and flirted. He asked about my boyfriend, and said he had seen him the night before – why was I going out with someone so unattractive? I laughed – my boyfriend was anything but unattractive. All night, Kirk told me how ugly the guy was. Probably stupid too, he said.

Over the next two weeks, we worked together a lot. When I finally accepted that ride home, there were golf clubs in the front seat. He opened the door and instructed me to climb in back – he informed me that the clubs took priority over any girl (typical Kirk humor). Once we debated that, and the golf clubs were settled in back where they belonged, I got in the front and realized there was a rubber glow-in-the-dark brain on the dash. No fuzzy dice for this guy – heaven forbid he be predictable.

At one point, I remember we were laughing, and he told me I was amazing. I’ll never forget that. “Amazing” is a common slang term now, but it was a word no one used back then. I couldn’t figure out what he meant. I worried – “is he mocking me out?” I kept asking him what he meant. He just told me it meant what it meant – he thought I was amazing. I really liked him.

It was getting to be decision time. I had a boyfriend, but he and I had never discussed the rules – were we exclusive? I had wanted to be, but hadn’t had the courage to bring it up. He didn’t see anyone else that I knew of, but didn’t bring it up either. We were both going to college that fall in the same area – me at UVM, him at SUNY Plattsburgh. It was all planned – we would see each other on weekends. Should I stay committed to someone even thought he hadn’t made a commitment to me (seems silly now – how much commitment should a 17 year old want!)? Or should I assume I was free to date Kirk also, which I really wanted to do?

The next night at work, Kirk told me straight out he wanted to go on a real date. Not to the movies, or to eat, or anything ordinary – not for him. No, he wanted me to go Niagara Falls with him. I don’t know why - I think he was just trying to be different. He wanted to go the next day, and he pestered me about it all night. I was supposed to go see George Carlin that night with the boyfriend. I ditched him and went to the Falls instead. Best decision of my life.

We drove up and did all the dumb touristy stuff – the wax museums, Ripley’s Believe It or Not. We held hands. We went over to the Falls and walked all around. It was late by then and the lights were on in the water. A few times, we stopped to look at the Falls and just stood quietly – he had his arm around me, and at one point he kissed the top of my head. Months later, he told me that when he did that, it was because he knew at that very moment that he loved me. He always remembered that exact spot, and throughout our whole marriage, any visit to Niagara Falls included him taking me to stand in that spot – the spot where he fell in love with me. He kissed my head every time.

On the way home, we were quiet – relaxed and easy with each other. He walked me to the door and kissed me again – not on the head. Let’s just say it was a long time before I went in the house. Boyfriend – what boyfriend?

I ditched the boyfriend the next day. Kirk and I spent every waking moment together – we worked the same schedule (the perks of dating your boss!) and were together before and after work. I met his parents and they were nice to me (thank you Mom and Dad W.!)

After about a month, I told him I really liked him, but I had no idea what his last name was – I’d been mumbling it every time I had to say it. We had a pronunciation lesson. I believe that was the same night I told him I was only 17. I had lied about my age to get my job, because you had to be 18 to serve liquor. Back then you didn't have to show proof of age when you were hired - they just believed you. He had of course assumed I was 18, and the news that I was underage was a bit of a shock. That was my first lesson in the ethics of Kirk. His motto was “do the right thing” – how many of you have heard him say it? He told me that we had to tell the General Manager. The next day, we did. I got chewed out – he was pretty horrified at the fact that he could have lost the liquor license – but I didn’t get fired. I stuck to serving ice cream after that.

Soon it was time for me to leave for college. Needless to say, we decided we wanted to stay together. But that’s Chapter 2, and I’ll leave it for another day.

He was the best boyfriend I ever had.